My criticism has always been described as cutting. I can’t really help it; it’s just the way I am.
So the girl I met that night in the club was always on to a loser from the outset. She should have guessed by the way I sneered at her make-up. She could have walked away when I said the clothes she wore made her look like a tart. But she was drunk, so I smiled through gritted teeth and bought her another. They always say the fat ones try harder. I just find with the drunk fat ones I don’t have to try at all.
So we’re back at mine, and I’m pulling out of her; my relief giving way to disgust. But she doesn’t notice; she’s not exactly conscious.
I take a steak knife and carve WHORE deep into her forehead.
Yes, my criticism has always been incisive.
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inspired by word of the day “Animadvert“
When I read the title and the first line I immediately went to self cutting–my family has had self injury issues… Peculiar I think, that even though he found her disgusting he still had relations with her. But it had my attention from start to finish.
Thanks Kari. Men, huh? Who can ever understand their motives?!
This is the first time I have come across your work, and really enjoyed it Mr Lehane. You can definitely count on a new subscriber in myself.
My only comment on the story was the repetition of the word ‘cutting’. It is a personal one, but since it has been used three times, I would have replaced the last appearance with some a little more evocative / ‘pun ful’ such as ‘my criticism has always been incisive’.
As noted, a personal comment, and does not detract from a great piece!
Thanks GearCog – geneuinely appreciate it and I always welcome good constructive feedback. I think you’re spot on too. Will have another look later.